This internship stresses me out. I don’t think it’s normal to worry and think about your internship on days when you’re not even working. Can’t get some things off my mind. Always feeling anxiety over everything. I hate that I can be totally happy and feeling positive one day and the next, just feeling like shit. Honestly, all I want to do nowadays is sleep because when you dream, your mind wanders on its own. It’s nice to not be “physically” aware of your thoughts, to just let your mind run. I really can’t wait for this internship to be over. I can’t wait for summer. I can’t wait to feel free again even if it’s just temporarily. I want to do nothing and everything I want to do, on my own time, in my own speed.

Edit: I can’t wait to intern again next spring. I know now that publications is not for me. I want to intern at a studio. It’s more intimate. I’m not stuck in an office the entire day I’m there and I get to assist on shoots. I already know which studio I want to try out for. We’ll see what happens next spring.